


Beautiful Disaster

by helplesslynerdy



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 06:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/880753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helplesslynerdy/pseuds/helplesslynerdy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little dark speculation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Disaster

Time may be a ball, but what make up that ball are strands innumerable. As each decision is made, each life lived, strands weave themselves into the whole. Other decisions that could have been made, each lost opportunity, a hand taken, a run into a trans-dimensional sentient ship, a missile not fired, the distance between lips not crossed. All potential paths not taken snap away, like the broken strands of a web, to exist no more. 

Just because someone can see these outcomes doesn’t mean that they necessarily pay attention to them.

Sometimes they ignore them.

Sometimes they think it can be changed.

Sometimes they are just in denial.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Broken soldiers seek mending. Some cannot cope with the civilian life. Some become apathetic or drown in drink. Others seek a new fight or a new cause to follow.

The Doctor found Rose.

They began a dance, a back and forth- questioning glances, stifled sighs. With a kiss, the burning of her mind stopped and that man died- only to be replaced with something new.

The Doctor had found his banner, his creed, his faith.

He had found something to worship.

Little did he know, it would be his undoing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Doctor was standing in front of the monster, shouting in confusion and disbelief. His normal armor was covered in a bright orange.

He pondered the fate of his companion, deciding what to do to defeat the enemy. He then let out his innermost belief. With a shout of defiance, he hoisted his new flag. Not realizing the brokenness he was finally admitting. He had put his faith in a mortal. Someone who could not possibly be all he was asking.

Another thread snapped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dance between the two continued, but now there was acknowledgment. Where with the previous incarnation, neither was sure of the other, they now knew. Nothing was declared, but they knew.

Rose would skirt the edges of their relationship, testing how far he would allow her in. What she didn’t know was that it wasn’t a matter of in.

The Doctor had long ago learned that you first had to pull down gods from their pedestals before you could kiss them.

He wasn’t ready to let that happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How long are you going to stay with me?”

All onlookers held their breath, waiting to see how she would answer- whether she would finally dispel his misplaced faith- stop the denial that could destroy them. The threads trembled in anticipation of her choice.

“Forever.”

The thread that led to a white room was pulled taut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wind-swept beach, a lost message. 

She was gone.

Everything was in a haze. He no longer cared where his threads led.

What did he believe in now?

What did he live for?

…

Her.

Still her.

All he could see was her.

All he wanted to see was her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She had returned.

She had to leave. 

His soul in his eyes, he confirmed what she had always known.

He owed that sacrifice to her.

But it wasn’t enough.

With a kiss for a man that wasn’t him, she was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With horror they watched the Doctor don the orange suit. 

Again, they watched him make the wrong choice.

This time he was not unraveling his own life but tugging on the threads of others.

Driven mad by the loss of everything he held dear, including her in whom he believed, he claimed himself the winner.

He had never been more lost. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own _Doctor Who_ or its brilliant characters.


End file.
